After much debate, she decided that instead of running away, she would stay, try to recover and eventually find the strength to join the fight against gender-based violence (GBV).
A year after the experience that would ultimately influence the rest of her life, Tarryn left her career in finance and bravely took on the role of CEO of the Greater Rape Intervention Program (GRIP), the very same organisation that supported her throughout her journey of healing.
For her work as CEO of GRIP, Tarryn has recently received the Mpumalanga South African Council for Business Women’s 2023 Community Warrior award for social entrepreneur.
It has been a long and difficult journey from the morning of 28 April 2021 when she woke up early, got dressed and laced up her trainers to go running on the ring road, near Mataffin, where she lives. Comrades Marathon cancellation had not yet been confirmed at the time and Tarryn was still hopeful that she would be able to complete later in the year.
With time I have realised that by helping others, I also heal myself and having never had the closure I so desperately wanted, that, in a sense, is justice to me.
Tarryn Lokotsch
It was only just 06:00 and still quite chilly. On her way out, she decided to quickly throw on a long-sleeved shirt over her running vest before leaving her husband and dogs still fast asleep in bed.
About 1,5km into her run, the nightmare started…
Tarryn was knocked down by a man who had tackled her and dragged her hundreds of metres off of the road and into the bushes alongside Crocodile River, where he sexually assaulted and raped her for almost 40 minutes before being left for dead in the shallow end of a river. Cold and injured, she managed to swim across the river, only resting once halfway on an island of sticks and debris, looking behind her all the time to make sure that her attacker was really gone.
On the other side of the river, she tried to cover her bruised body with her long-sleeve shirt, very grateful she had decided to wear it at the last minute, and stumbled all the way back up to the road where she eventually managed to flag down a couple in a car. They wrapped her up warmly, put her in their car and called an ambulance to take her to hospital.
After about a week in hospital, Tarryn was discharged and she returned home to slowly start rebuilding her life.
”For the first few months, filled with anxiety, she thought she saw her rapist everywhere and struggled with the idea that he was out there free and possibly watching her. She was overcome with anger at how unjust the system is. DNA testing is thousands of cases behind and therefore, with no evidence, her case was promptly closed after limited investigation and vague feedback from investigating officers.
It was during this time that Tarryn met Barbara Kenyon, then acting CEO and original founder of GRIP, who assisted her to start the process of overcoming her trauma. A strong bond formed between the two women and almost a year later, in February 2022, Barbara suggested that Tarryn (who has a masters degree in accounting and many years of management experience) take over as her successor at GRIP. Tarryn, who had become passionate about advocating for survivors of GBV and GRIP’s work, did not hesitate to accept this opportunity.
Instead of allowing GBV to define you, let it strengthen you and grow from it. Think of every success you achieve as a victory over the person who harmed you.
Tarryn Lokotsch
“With time I have realised that by helping others, I also heal myself and having never had the closure I so desperately wanted, that, in a sense, is justice to me,” Tarryn says.
“Someone is raped or sexually abused every 25 seconds in South Africa. Sadly, we still live in a very patriarchal society where girl children are particularly vulnerable to GBV. It has been reported that there has been a 400% increase in sexual violence against children over the past decade,” she says.
In the first three months of 2023, 10 512 women were raped; 1 485 attempted murders of women were reported; 969 women were killed; and over 15 000 women were assaulted in South Africa.
“These stats are horrifying and it is obvious that our country is more in need of organisations such as GRIP to be on the frontline in the war against GBV.”
For the first year after she had taken over as CEO, Tarryn – who was still steadily working through her own trauma – remained behind the scenes, learning everything she could about GBV, GRIP, the funders, the team, and GRIP’s programmes. She realised more and more that she could use her own dreadful experience to create awareness, educate the community, and help other survivors of rape and gender-based violence. In the background, Tarryn took to the road again, with the support of her fellow athletes, and continued to run and compete in marathons, including the Comrades in 2022.
In 2023, with the support of her experienced team, Tarryn has been on a mission to grow GRIP’s brand and footprint in Mpumalanga as much as possible and she has managed to enhance both GRIP’s service offering as well its funding.
“I was so unbelievably traumatised when I first arrived at the hospital after I had been raped. I had no idea what to do, what to expect or what was going on. My husband and I were lost and confused. The way a survivor is treated by police and medical staff has a tremendous influence on an already traumatised person. As CEO of GRIP, I try to help GRIP’s first responders and other GBV stakeholders understand how important it is for them to care for a rape survivor with the utmost empathy.
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“When police took me to the scene where I had been attacked, one of the officers got out of the car eating a pie and the other one was drinking flavoured milk while I had to walk on the same path where I had had the worst experience of my life. I thought it was callous and disrespectful. I now understand the importance of sensitivity training and how GRIP can make a difference by teaching police and other rights bearers in the Lowveld community how to treat survivors,” she says.
ALSO READ: Help GRIP help survivors of gender violence
GRIP was founded in 2000 in Mpumalanga to provide counselling, advocacy, and support services to survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and rape.
Since its inception, GRIP has assisted over 50 000 survivors of GBV and people living with HIV/Aids, ranging in age from six months to over 80 years old. Rape does not discriminate and as Tarryn unfortunately learnt in 2021, you just need to be in the wrong place at the wrong time – as sad as that is.
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“To ensure that we offer a fully comprehensive service to the community – which we have termed our GRIP ‘circle of care’ – GRIP has established care rooms at various first points of entry for anyone wanting to report a case of GBV. We are based at a number of police stations, hospitals and courts across Mpumalanga where we have employed experienced first responders and qualified social workers who are available to assist victims of gender-based violence and to support them on their journey to becoming strong and healed survivors,” Tarryn says.
“In addition to our care rooms, GRIP also runs two fully fledged shelters where vulnerable women and children can stay for up to six months. During their time in our shelters, survivors have access to our social and social auxiliary workers on a 24-hour basis. We provide everyone with nutritious meals, assist with childcare, CV creation and job applications. We have various skills-development programmes such as beading, sewing, baking and small-scale vegetable farming to try and empower our residents to become more self-sufficient.”
GRIP also runs prevention programmes in the community such as NO MEANS NO, trying to educate young people and end the cycle of violence South Africa is experiencing. The programmes also teach the community about sexual and reproductive health, as well as financial literacy and economic strengthening.
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GRIP employs over 80 staff and is a registered and compliant NPO with level-1 B-BBEE status. Through the unique GRIP circle-of-care model, the organisation can provide long-term support to ensure that survivors are able to overcome any trauma endured as a result of gender-based violence.
Through her work at GRIP, Tarryn hopes to inspire other women and children to speak out against GBV and not to be afraid to disclose and ask for help.
“There is nothing wrong with being a survivor – rape is NEVER your fault and there is no need to be ashamed and suffer in silence,” she says. “Instead of allowing GBV to define you, let it strengthen you and grow from it. Think of every success you achieve as a victory over the person who harmed you.”
